Feeling Well

I have decided that it is time I felt well. It has been so long since my body just does whatever it wishes and produces pains everywhere, that it is unnerving. So, now I have decided that, no matter what, I am going to feel well.

So, the varicose ulcer that I have in my leg should just close up and not bother me anymore.

The Rheumatoide arthritis pains that I have, should just disappear and forget that my body was available to them.

The stupid cold that decided to make its way into my body is definitely not wanted nor needed. So, it is high time it should die away.

There, I want my body healthy and vigorous again and I know I can have it.

A Love Story

His wife is injured. She needs help.

Her condition is very serious and appalling.

She is in great pain.

 

Her husband brings her food and

feeds her with love and compassion.

This is the only thing he can do to help.

 

Even though he has fed her, she dies.

He can’t believe it, he is shocked,

he tries to move her.

He realizes that she is dead!

This can’t be happening!

She is all he has!

He cries for her not to leave him!!!

There is absolutely nothing to be done…

He just can’t accept it.

His cries are heard everywhere.

 

He finally understands that

she will not come back to him.

He stands beside her engulfed

in his deep and profound sorrow.

He silently bids her good-bye…

These photos were published in the Republic of Ukraine.

The bird tries desperately to save his wife.

Many people cried after seeing these pictures.

 

Love is not about  finding someone to live with;

but finding someone you can’t live without.

Spelling is Important!!!

This is good… 

Spelling?

 

Even though it is so much work, teaching is just the greatest job!

Sometimes it’s okay.  Sometimes it’s not one desperate act after another.  Sometimes we hear the music that is always there.  As the old Irish homily goes:  “The most beautiful music is the music of what happens.”  It is not necessary to run to a remote, quiet place to hear it.  It is here already, always.  The essence of eternity is how we experience the present.  The witnesses are here in ourselves.  The fullness of our inheritance denies nothing.

~ Terrance Keenan

I  read this quote in another blog and I had to copy it. I loved it!

Thank you Bountiful Healing !

I Do Not Believe…I Believe

I do not believe in finding someone who will “fill my life”, I believe in living a life full of wonder and joy so I can share it with that ’someone’.

I do not believe someone makes you feel love for him/her. I believe love is in us and if we have matured enough to be able to develop and maintain it, then it will surely blossom when two people share thoughts and feelings.

I do not believe in the exclusivity of giving and being. I believe in an integral attitude towards life and in different ways of expression without  limitations and conditions.

I do not believe in the promise of an everlasting love. I believe in respect and honesty and in a mature love that leaves enough space and freedom to share  growth and expansion.

I Believe in love when two people decide on it; On love that is shared without pressures and demands. I do not believe in a ‘unilateral’ effort to be loved.

I do not believe in ‘love at first sight’ or in ‘believing in someone’ in a very short time. I believe in speaking the ’same language’, in feeling comfortable with closeness, in energy connections, in shared vibrations like when two rivers join to flow in the same course.

I do not believe in love where people go through suffering. I believe in loving in harmony. In love that grows, not diminishes. In ‘I love you’ without a reason to do so, just pure down-to-earth love (or maybe a bit in the clouds…    ).

I do not believe in love that limits, that stops, that refrains. I believe in relationships that support, that encourage, that can see into your eyes and understand, that are there, that touch your soul.

I do not believe in keeping quiet so you won’t hurt the other person. I believe in sincere communication as the best means of ‘building’, ‘coinciding’, and ‘deciding’.

I believe in being aware of life’s flow and accepting it without resistance. Of being able to listen and understand how much each one can and is willing to accomplish.

I believe in the complete sincerity when saying ‘I love you” and when saying “I’m leaving”.

I believe that each one creates their life and I believe in the phrase that says: “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react“. I believe  we need the courage to face life without fears, living in the present, not worrying about the past nor the future, and knowing full well that it is in our attitude that will make it worth living.

I blindly believe in pure, unconditional, warm, whole love that is so profound as an emotion, as beauty, as a physical sexual act, and helps you reach levels of understanding that otherwise would not have been there for you to grasp.

I believe, oh Yes, I believe!

Quick and Fun

Julia took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! “Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of exp…” Click here to read the rest of the results.

Not One Dull Moment

Yeah!!! I finished the course on tourism I took!!! Yeah, I am so happy I am done with it.

It took four months of going to school from Thursday through Sunday, from 9:00 A.M. till 6:00 P.M. It was a lot of hard work, lots of homework, and lots of tension presenting all of our projects. We had so much homework that it was sheer agony every time we were given our assignments. I read so much ( in Spanish) that I thought I would turn into a walking encyclopedia on the subject of tourism.  But to my frustration, I don’t remember lots of the stuff I read about. I guess, because I crammed it in and did not take the time for my brain to digest it.

I became a computer expert in making power points presentations. The first presentation I worked on was one where we did a lot of research and took many pictures and made several trips to the country, where the city where I live, was first established. After collecting all the data and photos, I worked on it two entire days, sitting at the computer and arranging the information and pictures we had taken, not getting up except to grab something to eat and, of course, to go to the bathroom.

Our group had decided to meet on Thursday to go over the presentation and practice who would say what. I had been working on it since Wednesday morning and on Thursday, about two hours before our scheduled meeting, I lost my file. I do not know what I did, but I lost all my work.

I was frantic!!! I called computer experts who I thought could help me and I asked them if there was any way of recuperating what I had lost. I did everything I was told, but I could not recuperate it. I cried. Then, I got a hold of myself and re-did the whole thing. I do not know what pushed me to work the way I did, but I did everything over again. I think the fact that I had almost memorized how I had done the first one that I was able to insert pictures and info quickly. I arrived to my friend’s house an hour and a half later, but with everything finished. Our presentation was a success… 

Well, to make things worse, my computer decided to die on me. I spent a month battling with it and with the computer guys who fixed it. They took it three times and would bring it back and it still did not work. Not only did they keep failing at figuring out what it needed, they lost all my info which I had collected or worked on for the last five years. My pictures, gone too. The worst part is that I told them that I had not backed up the information and they told me not to worry, they would handle it.  Needless to say how I felt when I realized they had lost all my information…

The last day of class we were taken to several places that tourists might be interested in going. One of them is the Enchanted Sahuaro Forest where you can find cacti that are over 500 years old, (at the end of my post I will insert a picture of one of those cacti). We also went to visit other sites and we ended going to this little town where we ate lunch and we bought some fresh cheese which I tasted and was delicious! I bought a kilogram of it and next day I ate quesadillas, which turned out to be finger-licking-good. About an hour after I had eaten the quesadillas I broke out in a rash. Oh, what a rash I got!!!!! I was sick for three days!!! I guess the cheese had been made with goat’s milk or pigs milk or whatever, some substance that was almost lethal for me… 

As you can see, this course brought a lot of ‘enriching experiences’ for me, but I came out of them alive and a little bit more knowledgeable, thank you very much… 

Here’s the picture I promised. This forest is awesome! I should mention that this forest was beautiful but, unfortunately people stole many cacti to plant them in their front yards or elsewhere. It now only has 30% of the cacti it had several years ago. The forest has many new plants but we will definitely not be here to see them full grown. So sad…

Love & Intimacy

There are very few people who succeed in relationships. The majority of us fail at what we crave the most–LOVE AND INTIMACY. I know I used to think that I was good at this, but during the time my marriage lasted, I was reminded of failing miserably every day. I found myself locked daily in a battle with someone who reminded me that, despite all my education and savvy, I really had no clue about LOVE AND INTIMACY. I am also sure that this man that said he loved me had no clue either. The constant daily effort to be present, open, honest, transparent, and defenseless before another human being, stirs up the urge in everyone to withdraw and hide. So mysterious, this being drawn by intimacy, or pushed away from it. Wanting to be close to someone, and then finding yourself in that position and realizing that you don’t really want to be that close. Needing to be near, but not so near, praying for the end of loneliness and having a companion, but then not really wanting constant company.

That is where I find myself right now. There are days I desire a companion so badly that it hurts. Then, I have days that I feel perfectly well living on my own.  So what do I really want?

I am sure that loving and being loved by someone enhances life. Even though marriage is very difficult, I am glad I took the risk and threw myself headlong onto this cliff-hanger called marital union. It is emotionally and spiritually bloody, bruising,  and often humiliating work. It calls upon you to negotiate, compromise, roll with the punches, cling and hold on by your fingernails, and build and rebuild from scratch a partnership that works for the two involved. Not even true love, if such a thing exists, can rescue you from yourself. You are continually facing who you truly are. But, finding love and fighting to keep it, can open up wonderfully new channels for me if I really choose to be committed to a lifetime of personal growth and self discovery.

So in the end, do I want this for myself? Do I really want to go back to being married? Yes, because I have loved deeply and it was the best time of my life. Maybe next time when I marry someone I will not feel so deeply in love, or maybe the sexual attraction is not as strong, but I am sure that I do want a man in my life who is open to share the authenticity of BEING. I do want to take care and be taken care of, even though it is a difficult endeavor. I am willing to take the risk again because in the end, I will have grown and redefined who I am.

Treasure Hunting

When I was small, we lived in a haunted house. It was so exciting! We were always playing in the cellar, pretending that we would find the treasure that, according to legend, was the cause of all the noises we heard and the ghosts we saw. Our cousins, who lived in the States, would come down to visit during summer vacation, and that was the time we spent making all sorts of stories up to explain the inexplainable.

My cousins were terrified, I was not. I loved it! We would see all sorts of things and we would hear all sorts of sounds of things going on in the cellar. We could hear them up through the entire house. My mom saw ghosts and heard the sounds when she would make her rounds checking that we were all asleep at night. She would also read till it was very late ( that was the only time we would let her…) so she was the one that heard more things.

I was all for the digging and looking for the treasure, but I was the only one. Even though we played with all the stuff that was stored away, no one else wanted to dig. So the years went by and nothing was done to see if there was money buried under the house.

One day I asked my Mom why my grandfather had never looked for the treasure (my grandfather had bought the house), and she told me that he had started.  He had been giving the location of two treasures, the one under our house, and another one on the outskirts of the town we lived. He decided he would look for the one outside of town and then continue with the one that was under our house. Unfortunately, when they started digging, they were forced to stop because they found a snakes’s nest. He felt that that was an omen and decided that he would not look for the one under the house either.

Up to date, no one from my family looked for that treasure, so I do not know if there really was one. I do not know if there are apparitions and sound in the house either, it still belongs to the family, but has been rented for a long time. What I do know is that the neighbors we had were extremely poor and years later they ended up having a ranch, furniture stores, and jewelry stores in several towns. I wonder if they found ‘our’ treasure… 

Anyway, I received the following pictures and I wonder if this is something like my grandfather found when he went treasure hunting… scary…

My Words